Snuff vs Chewbags
I have always prided myself as an average consumer of nicotine. Beginning with smoking tobacco many years ago. This habit was slowly pushed out of social situations as the idea of personal space and health concerns came to the fore front. The craving for nicotiana tabacum did not follow suite. Rather than being ostracized from the rest of non-smoking humanity, I stumbled upon, what I considered to be, the ultimate solution - snuffing. The breakthrough in my ever-present craving was the realization that the endorphin kick could come from another method of ingestion, the nose.
This realization was the bridge to cross to attain redemption. No more sneers, murmurs of disapproval or condescending looks when my buzz was coming via the sinuses rather than the inhalation of smoke. A small pinch of snuff and I was good to go. No more searching for ashtrays, open windows, head turning to blow the inconvenient smoke elsewhere but in the visage of my interlocutor; there it was, at last, social freedom. Having outmaneuvered the social rule of a smokeless environment, I had succeeded in contenting my habit with a small pinch of powdered pleasure, at least that is what I thought.
There was still a small annoying giveaway to my ruse. The actual ritual was the problem. I have replaced the match and cigar with a pinch and snuff. This was not the perfect feint that I suspected. The inhalation of powder was a non-starter in polite society. Questions like, "hey, what did you just do?" or "what's that?", ensuing with lengthy explanations to the uninitiated about what nasal snuff was. The eventual expulsion of said product from the sinuses and my burgeoning collection of handkerchiefs was also a net disadvantage.
The ultimate eureka moment that permitted me to both keep the "dreaded habit" but attain quasi total dissimulation was when I discovered the chew bag. This marvelous invention permitted me to partake in my vice with utmost disguise. These amazing little sachets of total bonheur permitted me to ingest nicotine in complete discretion. Hooray for these little marvels that fit perfectly between gum and lip and permit the elixir to dissolve imperceptibly into my bloodstream. These pods gave me pause. Had I discovered the ultimate method of absorption? This novel way of nicotine absorption seems to have helped me to pursue my happiness with an even less observable trail. Was my routine fully concealed? Had I found the best way of consumption or maybe both? Stay tuned and I will let you know how it goes.